Awakening Curiosity: “On Humility as Curiosity’s Favorite Dance Partner” (a Soul
Matters Packet Topic)
Article – The Quiet Courage of Changing Your Mind
https://wisdomschool.com/p/the-quiet-courage-of-changing-your
“Changing your mind is one of the hardest things a human being can do. It isn’t hard
because new evidence is rare or because learning is unpleasant: it’s hard because
beliefs don’t just live in the intellect. They live in identity, community, memory, and
pride…The quiet courage of changing your mind lies in its humility. It requires
acknowledging that your understanding was partial, that your perspective was limited,
and/or that the world is more complex than the story you once told yourself… Children
do this naturally. They revise their understanding constantly because they aren’t yet
invested in being right; they’re instead invested in figuring things out. Somewhere along
the way, we replace curiosity with reputation…”
Spiritual practice for the month of May: record how many times you have changed
your mind upon receiving new information or a different perspective. At the end of the
month, reflect on how this has transformed you and how you think of yourself, your
identity, and your community. Ask yourself: what did it take for me to change my mind?
Do I have a tendency to be stubborn or am I truly open to new possibilities? Remember,
changing your mind does not have to mean changing your values. It can simply mean
learning how to live your values in a different, probably improved, way.
From there, think about how this might change the way you engage with people who
have a very different perspective than you.

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Curiosity and Humility are two of my favorite themes to explore. When I saw in the Soul
Matters packet that they were “favorite dance partners,” my heart did a little happy
dance itself! Curiosity and Humility are qualities that I have been working to embody
since I started this position in 2018. I wrote a covenant to remind myself that those
qualities were essential to being in this role and to the success and growth of this
congregation.
I covenant to listen to you and understand your perspective by asking questions.
I covenant to expect failure and success in order to find the way that works for us in the
sacred and holy now.
I covenant to be forgiving.
I covenant to be curious about the many ways we can transform ourselves and our
community.
I covenant to be patient and to find joy in the process of change.

How am I doing?
When I revisited this covenant in a 2020 newsletter article, I wrote this:
I feel strongly about recognizing curiosity as essential to our relationships. We are all so
different, and when we make snap judgements and put up defenses, we put up walls
between us. Curiosity opens the path.
For example (a really simple example), if someone said to me, “Heather, I don’t think we
should sing ‘Spirit of Life’ every Sunday after we light the chalice”, I might immediately
jump to, wow, this person hasn’t been around long enough to get that we’ve been doing
this for years and I am SO not going to change it now. And, I might say to that person,
“no, we’re definitely not going to change that!” But how has that opened up the
possibility for growth- in worship and of our relationship? Have I let that person know
that I care about their feelings and experiences? Are they the only one that feels that
way? Probably not. Have I just passed up the chance to share my feelings? Have I just
missed a great big opportunity for creativity? YES. And all I really had to do was get
curious and ask, “why?”.
Even if we ended up not changing the sung response after the chalice lighting, I have
still let someone know that I cared enough about them personally to engage in a
conversation about it and hear them out. And, maybe they’ll listen to me and understand
my perspective, too. And better yet, maybe we’ll come up with some new way of doing
things that enhances the worship experience for everyone!
And this morning, I’m laughing at myself! Indeed, quite a few people, long time
members, have said, “PLEASE, can we sing something else?” In fact, after 20 years,
I’ve also grown a bit weary of singing Spirit of Life week after week. I won’t take it out
completely, it still holds a great deal of meaning. But I am exploring, with the musicians
and the Worship Committee, other options. We tried “Rise Up, O Flame” a few times
over the past couple years and I don’t think it generated a whole lot of excitement so we
dropped it. Recently, we have changed the sung response on the 3rd Sundays when we
do our Community Sunday to “May I Be Light.” It works well and generates a new kind
of meaning! There are other chalice lighting responses in the new Sing Out Love virtual
hymnal. We can explore them.
Change can sometimes be slower than we realize. But it’s certainly been a joyful
process to be a part of together, with all of you. Being truly curious and humble requires
practice. I look forward to engaging and advancing our skills this month. I have no doubt
that the rewards will be many as we all learn to embody curiosity and humility.